FASHION SMASHION

THIS weekend taught me that:

ONE] The fashion industry is conspiring against me: For years I have thought that my lack of excitement when it
         comes to shopping [and my lack of purchases] was down to my almost 'tomboy' nature. 'Maybe I'm just
         not that girly' I think as I look at my turquoise nails and rather short skirt. Nope, that clearly isn't the
         reason, something that was affirmed when I saw these two wonderful signs in Selfridges:

      Now on first look you could be forgiven for thinking that the country has gone Beyonce mad, what with her
      UK tour now in full swing [complete with zip-wire and sore throat], but no, this is just a clear indication that
      fashion has, to put it lightly, gone to shit. These two signs represent everything that I can't stand about the
      Little Mix-esque fashion of today. It is bright, it is bold, it is loud and it is proud, but it definitely is not

      beautiful. The problem with these new emerging pop bands is that they have single-handedly ruined

      highstreet fashion. What if I don't want to go to work looking like a fluorescent fruit salad? I certainly don't

      want to socialise with any; which leaves me with a problem. If the highstreet has gone neon-studded-mad
      and I can't afford designer wear [which I don't particularly love either], what on earth am I supposed to wear?
      Where am I supposed to shop? If you have any ideas, please, I'd love to know.

TWO] I missed Poppy: I can't believe how attached I have become to a little cat; but it has happened.
         Here she is staring me out through her new 'toy'

AWW POPS!

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

EDWYN COLLINS @UNION CHAPEL, 24th APRIL 2013

http://heavenlyrecordings.com/artists/edwyn-collins/

LAST night I had the pleasure of seeing Edwyn Collins perform at Union Chapel in Islington. This is a venue I have pretty much always wanted to go to, never realising that it is in fact a ten minute walk away. For those of you who don't know, the chapel is a fully-functioning, real-life chapel, complete with beautiful stained glass windows, flickering candles and an impressively high ceiling. Already the setting, acoustically, was brilliant.

On pop Edwyn's band, a melangé of ages and musical styles ranging from sixties pop to seventies rawk 'n' rowl [not without a white cowboy hat] and already it seems that this is the wrong type of venue for a band that is accustomed to audience interaction [of which unfortunately there could be little] and a little less general space. Aesthetics aside, what followed was an almost perfect performance from one of the most inspirational men on the planet. As mentioned in my previous Edwyn Collins feature, the musician was left unable to speak properly, walk or use his right hand after suffering two strokes in 2005, yet quite miraculously he is pitch-perfect, more in-time than most bands i've seen, and in possession of a wonderfully disarming sense of humour, as he interrupted cheers and claps with 'The singing is no problem. The talking is a bit dodgy..to say the least'. 

The set was a brilliant display of Edwyn's musical history, ranging from a quite speedy version of Orange Juice's Rip It Up to In Your Eyes for which his son William appeared on stage. He seemed very shy, deceptively so, as he went on to belt out perfect harmonies as well as playing guitar in accompaniment to his father's almost baritone melodies. Stand out songs of the night were Dilemma from this year's Understated album, Losing Sleep from 2010's Losing Sleep album which the band opened with to roars from the 'congregation', and the beautifully mellow encore of Home Again and Down The Line, finally ending with Don't Shilly Shally during which Collins stood up [which he did for a few others], and swung his cane around in a rather dandy-ish manner, addressing his appreciative fans before walking off stage with a smile on his face. Contrary to expectations, the set was full of positively-worded, bass-driven songs, showing that Collins is very much 'In The Now', still relevant and still a musical force to be reckoned with.

Unfortunately, this was the best of my photos.

The little dots around the sides? They are candles.

I don't know whose heads they are though.

Quick mention must be made of Carwyn Ellis of the band Colorama, songwriter, producer and all-round talented musician, who also plays bass, keys and synth for Edwyn Collins. He is one of the most talented musicians I have had the pleasure of seeing live. Collins plays tonight at St George's Church in Brighton. 

STAVRINI KOUMI

RECORD FLOP DAY

IT might only be Monday, but here's what the weekend taught me:

ONE] Record Store Day is great in some places and not in others: The days leading up to Record Store Day saw
         independent record shops up and down the country readying themselves for one of the biggest days of the
         year. With promises of cakes, gigs and limited edition releases, I have to say I was pretty excited; but
         what was supposed to be a celebration of the independent record shop, putting them back into the
         thoughts of the locals, seemed to be quite an anti-climax. In fact, the only difference I could see was that
         there was an abundance of badges and a few more flyers on the counter that there normally are. I was
         really surprised, as it seemed the store I visited had wasted an incredible opportunity. Next door to shop is
         a row of cafes that were brimming with people, but not one of them took five extra steps to venture into
         the record shop. Why? Because there was absolutely nothing to show that this day was any different from
         another. This could be down to a number of things, one of which is budget, but a few banners or some
         cakes doesn't really cost all that much. Having said that, three CDs were purchased at very good prices:

Thanks to our ironing board cover for

agreeing to be in this photo.

         What we have here is:

                    a]SCI-FI-LO-FI Compiled by Rob Da Bank - Tracks include Just Like Honey by The Jesus and

                       Mary Chain, Nowhere by Ride and Freak Scene by Dinosaur JR. This one is for me. My score:

                       9/10.

                    b] SANTANAS GREATEST HITS - Tracks include Evil Ways, Hope You're Feeling Better and

                        Black Magic Woman. This one is for my dad. My Score: 10/10 [I haven't opened it but know
                        most of the songs. My Score: 10/10 [you can't give Santana a 9].

                    c] Midnight Cryin' Time: Teen Angst Classics from the Rock 'n' Roll Era  - Three CDs, with tracks
                        including That's Life (That's Tough) by Gabriel & The Angels, My Girl Friend Betty by Mary

                        Swain, and Dressed In Black (Demo) by Shadow Morton. This one is for my boyfriend.

                        His Score: 3/10. Saying that, he has only listened to one out of the three CDs, so even if
                        he only likes two songs per CD it works out to just over £1 per song, which is actually great.

          All in all, a successful music spree. I even promised to go into a record shop 'every other week' to
          'have a look', but obviously that was said on a music high and after a Saturday morning lie-in.

TWO] Good friends are like your favourite sweets: You like them a lot and when they're gone it makes you sad.

          This weekend our good friend Arno Selvini [Stockholm via London via Birmingham via London via

          Strasbourg] came to visit. He arrived at 12:30am on Saturday [night], we went straight out to the only

          place that was sure to play nostalgia-inducing music, but mainly all came home and talked until five in the

          morning. He didn't stay long, leaving us the next day after a three-hour walk through East London [he's

          actually at the Old Blue Last tonight, so if you're there and hear someone swearing in French, its probably

          him], but my boyfriend and I were pretty gloomy when he left. This is mainly because we hadn't seen him

          for three years, but also because we both realised that good friends are like your favourite sweets. You

          love them but when they're gone it makes you sad. So you get some more! [that's get some more time

          with them, not 'get some new friends'. Obviously.

Two out of the three of us were wearing stripes.
Fashion Clash[un]!

Hangover cure. Apparently.

         Obviously I realise how ridiculous my sweets analogy is, but you can pretty much substitute it for
         anything. Bubbles for example; or other sweet-based things.

On Wednesday i'll be seeing Edwyn Collins at the Union Chapel in Islington. Are you going? You should be.

Let me know if you are, or tell me something you've learnt, or strike up a conversation about sweets by sending me an email whatstanleysays@gmail.com

STANLEY

INTERVIEW: CHINA RATS

CHINA Rats are tipped to be 'ones to watch' in 2013 [by me], already having gone dow well in America. I caught up with Graeme the singer to find out who on earth they are and what on earth they're about:

China Rats? How did you come about that name?
Luke frequents a takeaway called The China Star; turns out Star is Rats backwards. Luke coined it, he's the man.

Describe your sound, yourselves and where you're from in one sentence.Stuck together with Sellotape in a town where the student loan is king, but none of us are students.

At the moment it seems as though many new British bands are into the Americana revival, channelling the more grungy style both musically and aesthetically. You guys on the other hand seem to be a British band through and through [which we like!]. Is this musical divide something you are aware of?
Yeah i suppose we are aware of it but we are just doing our own thing. Most of our favourite bands are British and i suppose that comes through in our music. We all like grunge and American music but that style doesn't come naturally to us when we are writing tunes.

Last year you played SXSW. How was that?
It was unreal, I've never been to the States so it was almost a holiday. It's quite commercial but there's loads of stuff going on around the festival that we never expected to see. We saw so many bands, and drank and ate for free everywhere. It was a crazy piece of paradise.

Who was your favourite SXSW act?
White Lung

I've never heard of them. Google says they're from Canada though so I like them already. You're busy doing a UK tour from now until August. You play Manchester. Brighton, Leeds then Brighton again. Why aren't you playing Birmingham?!
We haven't had the chance yet, One day we'd love to!

Wonderful. I will hold you to that. Name one thing you can't go on tour without.
Trebor Extra Strong Mints Spearmint flavour.

Minty! What's the big band goal? [e.g mine is to eventually play Jools Holland]
To mime one of our songs on Saturday Morning Telly, playing to the kids. That's where I found all of my heroes.

Who would be in your ultimate gig line-up [dead or alive]?
The Jimi Hendrix Experience + The Dirty Mac + Nirvana.

Finally, your set on Wednesday at the 100 Club was a stormer. What was your highlight of the night and how was it to be playing with the Cribs?
Diving off stage into the green room to find The Cribs on the bevvies. Word's can't describe, I'm sat in work typing this when last night I was playing alongside The Cribs!

Catch China Rats at Sticky Mike's in Brighton on 26th April.

STAVRINI KOUMI

RECORD STORE DAY, 20th APRIL 2013

Here's one exciting thing I have learnt this week:

ONE] Tomorrow is Record Store Day: Remember the days when you used to count down the hours until a
         record was released, then make a b-line to the record shop with your pocket money? [i just about do]
         Well tomorrow is an opportunity to re-live one of those days! From the early morning of Saturday 20th April
         record shops [there's been quite the debate on BBC 6 Music as to whether we should call it Record Shop
         Day since we don't use the word 'store'] up and down the country will be celebrating the phenomenon that
         is 'the record' by opening their doors early, hosting gigs and dj sets but also, most importantly, selling
         limited edition releases by artists spanning decades and genres. 

In the spirit of the day, here's the first ever 'record' I was given.

In May 1993 I received two copies of this

beauty and I adored them. Both.

         Want something on a 7" yellow vinyl?
         Why not look HERE to see exactly what is being sold, and HERE to see which of your local record shops
         is participating. Tomorrow I will be taking a trip [that will take me a gargantuan five minutes] to my local
         independent record store Flashback Records on Essex Road who will have exclusive releases available at
         10am and DJs throughout the day, including sets from Jonny Trunk, Bob Stanley [it's not me] and Liam
         Large. The recent administration of HMV may have heralded the musical apocalypse in your minds, but in
         an encouraging stark contrast, independent record shops are doing better than ever, with vinyl sales on
         the up since 2009 showing that our love affair with our local independent record stores, and good quality
         sounding music offered to us by vinyl, is showing no signs of wavering. So go on, take a five minute
         detour on your way to lunch.

Also, since Jack White is the ambassador this year, 

you know it's going to be a good one.

STANLEY

THE CRIBS//DRENGE//CHINA RATS @100 CLUB (17TH APRIL 2013)

LAST night saw Converse host one of the best gigs I have been to in the last ten years [no exaggeration]. The lineup included the Cribs' first gig at 100 Club in nine years, Drenge by way of Sheffield and Leeds' own China Rats who, might I add, are probably my new favourite band.

Upon arrival we were each handed a disposable camera, courtesy of Converse, and an unspoken promise that what would follow would most definitely be something worth taking photos of.

First on were China Rats, a band who look like they skipped school to make it down to Oxford Circus; but don't let their youthful looks deceive you. The set was a wonderful breath of fresh air; akin to the Sex Pistols but slightly more coherent and less covered in safety pins, China Rats presented us with song after song of clean-sounding, undeniably catchy melodies. Uncomplicated riffs plus very memorable chorus' equals one very happy crowd. It was lovely to see that they remained equally enthusiastic yet modest throughout their set, virtues which will surely help them on their way to stardom.

Next up were Drenge, a two-piece from Sheffield. Unfortunately due to the shape of the rather wide stage, if you were standing on the wrong side of the room you would only have seen one person; but what struck me first was the sheer depth of the sound that one guitarist and one drummer managed to create. They have the drive of DFA and the togetherness of the White Stripes, but the vocal range of Tame Impala beach melodies to QOTSA at their most 'metal'. Their cover of I Just Want To Make Love To You was a bold move, making it the least feminine and most distorted song of the year, though particularly topical an account of the newly re-vamped Coke adverts. The uncertainty when each song had finished as the crowd were left hanging more than once wasn't ideal, but that did little to deter the massive applause as they finished their set mounted on top of amps and drum kits.

And just as the sweat levels rose a notch, the Cribs walked on to what I can only describe as a wonderfully cheesy power ballad, singing their hearts out, which they proceeded to do for the entire hour that they were on. Opening with Major's Titling Victory and shouts of #I I I can't find time for her, this was clearly to be a gig for their 'hardcore fans' as Ryan Jarman put it, with songs spanning their nine-year careers. The sweatier the room became, the better the gig, with people literally throwing themselves into the set with everything they had. The sound was perfect and the band seemed to be incredibly tight and, most importantly, really enjoying themselves. They flew through old favourites Hey Scenesters and Come On, Be A No-One, but were sure to throw in some nods to the less charted but just as loved gems like Glitters Like Gold and Cheat on Me. And in case anyone was wondering, a great barometer of how 'relevant' a band is to the times is the response to a relatively new song, and yes, the crowd may have been a little biased, but Leather Jacket Love Song was just as celebrated as the rest, prompting everyone to burst into cheers and shouts of approval. It takes some sort of skill to command the complete attention and admiration of a wildly packed room for an entire hour, but the Cribs did just that. If I were you i'd catch them at the few confirmed dates this summer which include the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park on 29th June, Hop Farm Festival on 6th July and a few more festivals through to September, details of which can be found HERE.

Thanks must go to Converse for putting on such a spectacular show, and for providing us with much-needed hand towels that double up as souvenirs.

Stavrini Koumi

PREVIEW: THE CRIBS @100 CLUB W/CHINA RATS

TOMORROW might only be a Wednesday, but it will see me making my way to Converse's Get Dirty gig at The 100 Club with none other than The Cribs as the headline act. China Rats will be supporting, straight from SXSW by way of... Leeds? You could be forgiving for thinking this band hails from some New York time warp [going by their soundcloud], but are perhaps a bit 'cleaner' sounding than the Cribs, which perhaps isn't a bad thing. We don't want to be filthy before the watershed, do we?

The Cribs. Minus Johnny Marr. Plus some weird haircuts.

BANGIN'

Review and dark dark pictures to follow.I'm going to feel seventeen again. YAY

It is also Margaret Thatcher's funeral tomorrow. Apparently the streets are going to be filled with milk in 'protest'. All I see that achieving is:

     a] wasting quite a bit of money

     b] wasting quite a bit of milk. Thing how many bowls of Crunchy Nut Clusters you could have with a St Pauls

         worth of milk?

     c] drawing all the cats from within a ten mile radius into quite a relatively small area. This will just be noisy
         and probably quite loud. One cat purring is pretty decibelicious [don't judge], let alone five hundred.

Have you learnt anything this week? Other than the fact we all like to bomb each other?

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

MY BREDWYN

THURSDAY once again, and since yesterday I haven't learnt a whole lot. This is most likely due to the fact that the weather consists of a gloomy, grey drizzle, and  (weather + treats) = productivity in my opinion. Which brings me to my first point:

ONE] It is OK to treat yourself during the week, as long as it is a little treat: So after my rather long rant about
         how I eat super healthily during the week and go wild [sort of] on the weekend, I feel like I should add that
         every so often it is OK to treat yourself on a weekday with, oh I don't know, a nice bag of sweet potato and
         goats's cheese bread. You got me. Today, after hardly having bread at all over the last month, I decided
         that I needed it and, I didn't feel the slightest bit bad. I have to say, it tasted more like a pizza on pastry
         made by someone who'd already eaten all the cheese.

As you can see, there really isn't that much left of it..

          I clearly didn't mind at all, as there's barely enough there for a mouse. Either way, I am now looking
          forward to a weekend's worth of gluttony.

TWO] Edwyn Collins is a pretty cool guy: Most of you will know him as 'the guy who sung A Girl Like You'

I'm going to hold my hands up and say that
I didn't realise this was him until
Tuesday of this week. [don't judge]

          Others will know him as the singer of Orange Juice who had hits such as Rip It Up (1983)

Got to thank my favourite person Stuart Fenton for playing

this to me two years ago.

       

          And if you've been listening to BBC 6 Music recently you'll know him as the voice behind Dilemma

I dare you to listen to this song twice then try and get it
out of your head for the rest of the week.

         I have to say I barely knew anything about him before I watched the Home Again documentary which

         details his recovery after a suffering a major cerebral hemorrhage in February 2005, then a second

         hemorrhage. In it you see him go from learning how to walk, read, write and speak again, to playing a

         gig at the BBC Electric Proms a few years later. His determination, love of music and achievements are
         astounding as you finally see him say that he misses nothing of his old life. If you're feeling like you're
         stuck in a bit of a rut or don't seem to have any motivation, I strongly recommend that you watch this
         4-part documentary, the first of which you can view here. I am lucky enough to be going to see Edwyn play
         at the Union Chapel, Islington on 24th April [tickets should be available here] and will almost definitely be
         putting up a review. If you do nothing else today, just have a little listen!

THREE] Degus like Easter too: This is something I wasn't aware of, but apparently it is the norm:

Or perhaps its smarties they like? Who knows?!

           I can just about spot my favourite of the degus inside the Smarties hut on the left, shying away from all

           the attention [or hiding because she's done something naughty].

Ah there you go, she's been chucked out.

Various websites [ahem BBC ahem] have promised us a scorcher of a Sunday with highs of 17c no less. Fair enough, if there's a wind this could feel like 14c, but there won't be any rain and the sun will be out, which to me = Spring [Summer at a push]. Don't forget to rush to your local supermarket and buy those tin foil BBQ trays in anticipation!

love

STANLEY

send your videos to whatstanleysays@gmail.com

BRUISEMANIA

TODAY I learnt just how much of a floppy-legged, accident prone girl I am. A few Mondays ago you will remember that I fell onto my knees [and not out of choice] rather badly. My hands who could have at last shown how useful they are, didn't, and I had nothing to break my fall. A week and a bit later I have decided to look at my bruises again, mainly to gage how long they are going to take to disappear, because if the weather is in fact hotting up, I'm afraid i'll have to buy another tube of concealer and label it 'just for legs'. Who knows, perhaps one day i'll become a billionaire after setting up a 'leg foundation' company, it all sounds rather more ethical than it really is. Anyway back to the point; the news is my knees are nearly, but not particularly, normal looking:

At least they aren't the size of footballs anymore.

'Bad circulation ripples' and squished leg muscles aside, I think in a few weeks we just may see some fleshy coloured knees. That is unless I start doing things like, I don't know, walking into the BED?

I've got to say, I don't think this photo does the

bruise justice.

Now I have a beautiful, emerald green bruise [punctuated with yellow tones] to go with my darkened knees. I'm practically a walking 'colour by numbers' book.

Hopefully tomorrow I won't have any to add to this.

BUT DO YOU have any impressive bruises? [oh yeah, I went there]

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

love

STANLEY

SINGIN' IN THE [HUR]R[IC]AIN[E]

ON my walk home from work I came across something that actually turned me into one of those people who takes pictures of random things in the street to put online. Was it anything spectacular? Far from it. The object in question was a poster for the Singin' [I had to go back and delete the extra 'g'] In The Rain musical which promises to be 'an evening of joy' according to the Daily Telegraph. And whilst I actually quite like the film [though have yet to see it all the way through], I was baffled by the tag-line..

Yes, '12,000 litres of water used at 

every performance!'

Wow. Well if that bold statement won't get you to part with your weekly food budget I don't know what will. What makes me even more confused is the fact that an actual meeting took place during which someone blurted out that sentence as the proposed slogan and someone else rather high up said 'we absolutely must have that on the posters'. My first thoughts went as follows:

      a] wow, what a waste of water?!

      b]..and they'll probably make a killing from the 'wet seats' [like at Shamu's house at SeaWorld in Orlando]

      c]..but what a waste if water?!

After all that, i'll probably end up going to see it on one of my mom's London visits as a last minute 'oh and we're going to see a musical' decisions, in which case i'll be dressed in a rain mac [one i'll probably have to buy for the occasion].

In other news my first birthday present arrived today, the largest bean bag i've ever seen.

Thanks yiayia Jen x

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

GIFT SHOP CRAYON POP

LAST weekend I popped into Greenwich with some family; we saw the sights and felt the cold, which led us straight into the National Maritime Museum in order to get some respite. We saw the largest ship figureheads [probably] in the world, some stripy tops and THIS:

I KNOW?!

Those of you [girls] between the ages of 22 and 25 will most likely have loved and lost several of these in your lifetime. I remember going to the little post office in our village [Gnosall, first mentioned in the Doomsday book apparently] and being incredibly excited to leave with a bag of pick 'n mix and one of these crayon pencils. It is amazing how something so small can throw you into a pit of nostalgia in a second and, as a result [and to the surprise of everyone I was with] I actually went and bought something from this Maritime gift shop; yes, I purchased two of these, one for myself and one for my sister. Not only are they ridiculously chic, they are equally educational, with a seemingly unassuming physics-related quote sprawled over the front. Although I can't say that crayons figure in my day-to-day routine, I'm sure there'll be a moment when I am so glad I spent £1 on this. Until that day, I will merely sit and appreciate its beauty.

I also visited Cyprus. Quite a productive day.

Crayons aside, it is interesting to note that, according to Simon Neville of the Guardian, gift shops such as these generated profits of over £100m last year. Most of us I assume wouldn't understand how this could be possible when we turn our noses up at the sight of tourists buying tat with I <3 London engraved in Helvetica font over every available space. But city-dwellers are also being drawn into these grottos, as time and strategies have been put in place in order to make them more appealing and money-magnetising. The money generated from these shops is of utmost importance due to a dramatic cut in funding for the arts. It is therefore sad to that gift shops may now be the saving grace of most long-established museums and galleries, in turn funding day-to-day expenses and exhibitions such as the Lichtenstein of the Tate and the David Bowie of the V & A. I therefore feel that in buying my little crayon pencils I have, in some seemingly insignificant way, contributed to helping maintain these places of cultural and social significance.

I may or may not also own every Mr Benn episode on DVD.

In summary, support your local 'cultural place' by buying things that you genuinely like/want/need, as I clearly have done [don't judge me].

love

STANLEY

whatstanleysays@gmail.com

TANGG!

AS promised I hereby enclose a photograph of the most mooreish crisps I have ever tasted. Forget Pringles and
their 'Once you pop you just can't stop' con; you're only not stopping because you're hoping the next mouthful tastes more like spice and less like cardboard. These Cofresh potato grills are therefore, in essence, the original Pringles, just less flat and more..crinkly.

They have the word 'tangg' written on the packet, 

with two 'g's. JUST WOW.

'Chili and Lemon, not the most exciting of flavours' I hear you grumble, but that's where you'd be wrong. These potato 'grills' taste more like ridged spicy potato wedges, just with less density and more crunch. Still not convinced? They are 85p a packet and 55g heavier than a normal packet of crisps. In the words of Nike, 

JUST DO IT.

Today sees us bartering in Camden and cooking dinner for a newly engaged couple.

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNT THIS WEEK? whatstanleysays@gmail.com

love

STANLEY